Photography, History and Whatever Else Strikes my Fancy.
This is copied from the "Gothic Royalty" facebook group. I'm sure most of you can relate to this! Take it with a grain of salt. Author unknown, but I love them, whoever they are.
"All ages" = as if telling someone's age in
zombie inspired make up and near dark conditions weren't difficult
enough already
"All night long" = or until 2 a.m. when the
city's bar closing ordinance kicks in, which ever comes first
"Blisspop" = we made up this genre just to
see if you were paying attention to our flyer
"Costume Contest" = be prepared to hear at
least three different DJs spin "Everyday is Halloween" and
claim they didn't hear it when the other DJs played it
"Dark Alternative" = we have no idea what to
call half the songs we're going to play tonight
"Dark/Fetish attire encouraged" = if you
pretend to be a goth, we'll pretend to play goth music
"Darkwave" = we think this is somehow
related to goth
"Deathrock" (when placed last on the
list of music genres) = we'll play that song by the Virgin Prunes,
but you have to listen to 3 hrs. of VNV Nation before we get to it
"Deathrock" (when placed first on the
list of music genres) = we'll play two Rozz-era Christian Death
songs in a row at some point during the evening
"Deathrock/Psychobilly/Horror Punk" = we
hope you like songs about zombies, dead girlfriends and spooky
things in the woods enough to listen to 4 hours of them
"Deathrock/Punk/Old School
Goth" = we firmly believe the only music worth listening to
was recorded between 1977 and 1983
"Deathrock/EBM" = never draw up a flyer when
you're high on crack
"Deathrock/Metal" - never draw up a flyer
when you've doing crystal meth for 5 days straight either
"Dress code is black" = the people who come
here don't know enough about Goth to know what to wear so we have to
remind them
"Dress to impress" = the court order
regarding cameras in the Club was lifted after the lawsuit was
settled out of court
"EBM" = like techno, but with less musical
ability and more glow sticks.
"80's" = we hope you like "Karma
Chameleon" a lot because we have 13 different versions of it
"Electro" = *beep* music
"Enjoy our drink specials" = our landlord
turned off the air conditioning so it gets really hot in here
"Ethereal" = we own the entire Cocteau Twins
back catalog
"Experimental" = Synth-punk performed by
people don't know how to play an instrument, but it sounds classier
if we call it "Experimental"
"Fetish wear encouraged" = lots of *oontz
oontz* music, latex club wear, and a some guy running around with a
whip
"$5 cover before 10 p.m." = the cops never
show up to raid the place before 11 p.m.
"Free give aways" = we still have lots of
"Saw II" and "the Hills Have Eyes" posters left
from last year's give away
"Full Bar" = our bar is twice as big as the
dance floor
"Futurepop" = music not good enough to be
classified as "EBM"
"Glam" = in case you thought deathhawks,
ripped t-shirts and torn fishnets were too modest of a fashion
statement
"Go Go Girls" = our music will sound better
if you're staring at a half naked chick
"Goth" = our DJ knows who Peter Murphy is
"Gothic Industrial" = lots of *oontz oontz*
music, latex club wear, and some girl with big, poofy pigtails
running around with a couple of glow sticks
"Harsh EBM" = when regular EBM isn't awful
enough
"Impressive selection of beer" = just in
case anyone ever comes to a Goth club to be impressed by the beer,
we've got you covered
"Industrial Decadence" = overweight EBM
chicks in midriff baring fetishwear
"Just off the freeway" = we're located next
to the abandoned medical waste disposal plant in a section of town
not patrolled by police
"Legendary" = selling my soul for a steady
club night 23 yrs. ago seemed like such a good idea at the time...
"Live Bands" = real musicians aren't
embarrassed to be seen in our club with our patrons
"Mash Ups" = someone got a Mac with Garage
Band for their birthday, but can't figure out how to use it
"New Romantic" = Adam Ant, Duran Duran and,
ahhh, ummm, errr.... more Adam Ant and Duran Duran
"Neofolk" = Der Furher's music, unplugged
"No Cover Charge" = our venue is a classic
dive bar with a decent sound system
"Nu Wave" = I'm 2 lazy to spel check my
flyerz be4 I hand them oot
"Old School Punk" = we specialize in mohawks
and mosh pits
"Old School" (genre unspecified) = we bought
a crate of vinyl at a garage sale
"Our DJ brings you the best in..." = our DJ
will spin whatever his girlfriend left him after they split up
"Old School Goth" = our DJ's roommate went
to school with Peter Murphy
"Plenty of available parking" = the
neighborhood is so bad that no one is else is willing to park on the
streets here
"Powernoise" = we play music so obnoxious
that even the rivetheads will complain
"REAL Alternative" = our DJ interned at KROQ
"Remixes" = someone got a Mac with Garage
Band for their birthday and figured out how to use it
"Remodeled" = they painted the walls after
they were closed down for health code violations
"Request Night" = we got off work late and
didn't have time to come up with a proper setlist
"Retro" = Our DJ found a bunch of 80's comps
at a second hand store and most of them aren't too badly scratched
"Smoking Patio" = forget about sneaking in
through the back exit
"Two dance rooms" = our Gothic Industrial
club plays both kinds of music, gothic and industrial
"Underground" = our DJ really likes She
Wants Revenge
"Indie" = Our DJ eventually got burned out
on She Wants Revenge and is now on an Interpol kick
"Vampire" or "Vampiric" =
douchebag or douchebagic
"Vendors" = we have a girl selling
bat-themed jewelry and spiderweb necklaces at a table next to the
dance floor
"VIP Lounge" = in case the people on the
dance floor weren't pretentious enough for you
[ Reposted from my blog on Gothic BC #GothicBC ]