illness

So what is it like when I have a coughing fit and my throat closes up? Yesterday as I finished off a lolly-pop I decided it would be fun to annoy my cat Tharsis for a bit by blowing air through the hollow plastic lolly-pop stick. Then I realised it is actually **EASIER** to breathe though this tiny tube than the first few breaths after a coughing fit. That's an opening of about 1.5 mm. And those are the coughing jags where I *don't* pass out. Fortunately they are starting to get a little less frequent now and it has been a few days now since I've passed out.

OK. I'm sick. I have established that. Walking three kilometres is hard and my reactions are impaired. I'm also making stupid mistakes and just generally having a hard time thinking. OK, whatever, that's just being sick. But if I were out of shape and stupid my whole life would be like this. That's scary. There are armies of lazy-ass, stupid people out there like this everyday, diving their cars to work.

OK. I'm sick. Fine. I take a day off work to recuperate. Fine. I get a really good night's sleep, fine. I start feeling better, also fine. I decide to re-sew and re-hang all the curtains in my apartment - not fine. Stupid, in fact. I finished, I had to because my apartment is a studio with windows on three sides and ergo is a fish bowl without curtains, but now I am exhausted.

Note to self: when you take a day off to rest, rest, you stupid fuckhead!

We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.

- Henry David Thoreau

I'm home from work, sick, thinking about direction and goals. I'm going to need to go with the flow for a while at least - I can't do anything without some money in my pocket.

Oringinal post: http://mbarrick.livejournal.com/40177.html

OK. Monday I just thought it was a hangover. Yesterday I was thinking, "Well, maybe I'm getting sick." Today I am thinking, "Fuck. I'm sick." Walking in to work was not fun. By the time I got here I was totally light-headed. I've been here for over an hour and I still feel wobbly. I think I may need to take a sick day tomorrow.

Oringinal post: http://mbarrick.livejournal.com/39793.html