And then there is what is bothering me more than anything else: Ivana hasn't gotten the ring sized yet. She's not actually wearing it. That really disturbs me.
Then there are the clubs. I know I can't be a club kid forever, but I miss going out as much as I used to. I can see things that bothered me when I was with Dianna starting to happen with Ivana and I'm afraid I may be setting myself up for the same kind of misery again.
I'm afraid there is a sick part of me that wants to be miserable, that is setting me up to be dumped agian just for an excuse to get so blind drunk every Saturday that Sunday disappears entirely.
I'm really scared I might be making a horrible mistake for everyone involved.
Oringinal post: http://mbarrick.livejournal.com/163663.html