Parody Lyrics for "King of Spain"

Sing to the tune of "King of Spain" by Moxy Früvous (original lyrics by Michael Ford, Murray Foster, David Matheson, and Jian Ghomeshi)...

"Host of Q"

Once I was the host of Q (now I eat humble pie)
Oh my unspeakable vice, rough sex (now I eat humble pie)
I'm telling you I was the host of Q (now I eat humble pie)
And now I get no CBC paycheques...

Royalty, lord it good looked good on me,
In leather chaps in the royal boudoir, forcing girls to have sex with me,
Or playing "choke some 'ho" with the Princess of Monaco,
Telling my jokes to the CBC listeners, and getting it all on video.

Once I was the host of Q (now I eat humble pie)
My fame and fortune were so dope...
I'm telling you I was the host of Q (now I eat humble pie)
Soon I'll worry when I drop the soap.
Can't it wait? Don't close the prison gate!
My people say,
"Jian, how can you be such a genius?
"Your rambling audio essays were so great!"
It's crazy that you even give a care
What I get up to on weekends.
It was rough, but consensual, I swear!

Once I was the host of Q (now I eat humble pie)
Johnathan Luis, I've got a problem, please call me!
(now I eat humble pie)
I'm telling you I was the host of Q...
Now the T.O. police have picked me up and everyone knows I'm a phony.

Now some of you may be wondering how I came to be arrested in Canada
After hosting Q on Radio One mornings (should I tell them?)
(Tell us, Jian!)
For you see, late at night while good folks are asleep
In my royal chambers and elsewhere, I was a creep.
I'd lurk around Queen Street West when the moon was lighting the pitch
And pick up on peasant girls half the age of me
And spank them with a switch.

(Prince and Pauper, Junior and Whopper
World made up of silver and copper.)

Against their volition, I'd force them into position.
So every time, remember this lesson of mine:
Consensual sex is more luscious,
One should ask b'fore one touches.

Once I was jamming with Moxy Früvous (now I eat humble pie)
And I'm telling you I was the host of Q (now I eat humble pie)
And now I'm just a creepy dufus.

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And here is the orginal for the sake of reference: