Photography, History and Whatever Else Strikes my Fancy.
This new gig is mind-numbing. I at least have a couple of things to do today, but nothing taxing. On the one hand it is easy money, too easy really - it feels like theft. But on the other hand it feels like a tiny murder. I'm going to lose three months of my life here. I felt kind a desperate last night to do something and found to my horror that after spending three days in an almost bodhisatva-like state of perfect blankness I couldn't get my mind sparked up enough to come up with anything. By the time inspiration was beginning to hit I had to work to shut it back down so I could get to sleep and face another day of nothing.
I'm quite aware that I'm not really a good employee. I don't play nicely with others in the long run, mostly because I get frustrated quickly waiting for people to clue in. This used to get me in trouble at school as a kid, too. Once someone has exhaused their "benefit of the doubt" timeout (if they get one at all), I cease to have patience for them.
I'm also not the kind of egomaniacal, schmoozing asshole that you find at the helm of most companies, particularly companies that don't actually produce anything of intrinsic value. I find this type of person instantly grating, regardless of intelligence. This also doesn't much help my position as an employee.
Oringinal post: http://mbarrick.livejournal.com/883123.html