"Utility" Companies

"Utility" is defined in the dictionary as "the quality or condition of being useful" - it really isn't the right word to apply to the "utility" companies, is it? I'm moving across the hall, you'd think that's be easy, right? It would be if it didn't mean contending with Telus, BC Hydro and BC Gas. Telus, in addition to FUBARing half of Vancouver by screwing up their DHCP servers has, as of last night, lost my lease. I spent two hours on the phone with a tech support monkey who amongst other things suggested I uninstall and reinstall TCP/IP on my server (yeah, riiiight). It took a while to get it through his skull that nothing has changed at my end, but their DHCP servers had been fouled up for two days, city wide. My MAC address and the IP I'm supposed to have are still quite happily showing in the configuration interface, but obviously the lease isn't getting created properly. So, finally, he agrees to pass it on to the semi-mythical "tier 2" (who only work during regular business hours). Now I am waiting for the inevitable disaster that will come from this problem still being outstanding while my line was changed to the new address, some two hours before they scheduled it and well before anyone from tier-2 would have a chance to look at it. Why am I envisioning myself later this afternoon yelling at people on my cell phone because I have no phone and no DSL? Why do I see this as inevitable? Why can't I get the image of Lilly Tomlin saying, "We're the phone company, sir. We can do whatever we want," out of my head?

Meanwhile, there is the gas boondoggle. I phoned BC Gas on Tuesday to transfer my account, but couldn't because the meter hadn't been installed. It still hasn't been installed. The super called me today because the gas company told her that I should call to get it going. I told her that I had called days ago and they told me they couldn't do anything for me until the meter was installed and should talk to the super.

BC Hydro was the only one of the bunch that got it right without a hassle. Or so it seems. Watch them bill me for the wrong apartment or something...

When presented with a round hole, no matter how clearly and thoroughly you warn them of the roundness in advance, these people arrive with a square peg. When it doesn't fit they escalate the problem to "tier 2" and return a week later with the same square peg and a 5lb mallet. So, in conclusion, I propose we no longer call these bureaux of disservice "utility companies" but rather "bodgering companies".