It's different without you...

So Ivana just phoned. I've been trying really hard to get her out of my head. You see, I really fell for her. There was a point where I really thought she was the one, but as soon as it started getting really good, she started backing away. When she phoned just now I was excited for a moment, thinking that maybe something had changed. But no. She just wanted some books back. Nothing exciting. Just dismal leftovers.

This is what has had me sinking in to rotten moods lately and not wanting to go out. All I want is a spark with someone intelligent and reasonably sane for whom honesty, loyalty and good manners are the rule, not the exception. This would be the case with Ivana, which is why I fell for her so hard, but her loyalty (admirably so) is to her children and the troubles she has to deal with now leave no place for me. This on top of the disappointments I've already contended with have left me with the strong sense that any such person has already been snapped up. Going out just has a way of confirming that.

Time to break out the jazz records... "No Love for Me", "Ballad of the Sad Young Men", "Can't We Be Friends", "Don't Get Around Much Anymore"... Hooray for jazz.