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Must go to sleep now...

Duty calls. In a few hours I must get up and trudge across the city and bow to the silicon god for another day. I am a god-damned, freaking, bloody monk. I will practice my asceticism in my grey cubicle and perform my rituals in time with the almighty clock. I will render unto Caesar more than his fair share and give up the rest to pay my tithe to the Unholy Church of the Dreaded Student Loan. It's so much fun. Everybody is doing it.

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A few minutes to kill

I've got a few minutes to kill before I bail out of here for the day. Last Friday and today I had pretty tolerable projects to work on and with only a few days left until payday I still have money in my pocket. God forbid, but I think I may be adjusting to all of this. Not that I have ever stayed interested in a job longer than two years, but things being as they are I may actually endure this long enough to get what I want to out of it.

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I'm feeling much better now, thanks.

Another bout of moodiness endured. I have moments where I want to change the whole damn world all at once and beat myself up for not having done it yet. They don't exactly represent the best parts of my personality, but I've learned over the years that they are integral to my process. The feeling that I haven't done enough keeps me doing things. The feeling that nothing is quite good enough keeps me improving myself.

How did this happen?

I'm actually doing something interesting today. I'm having fun at work. Whoa.

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More indecision

I still can't decide if life sucks or if I am enjoying myself Yesterday as I was walking home I ran into nice Nicole again, as well as Lori and Graeme. Work today alternated between biting ass and being interesting. Ivana's dropped off the face of the earth, not a word from her for over a week - so I'm giving up on her.

Save me Geebus

OK, some highlights of the evening:

I do not feel good today

OK. Monday I just thought it was a hangover. Yesterday I was thinking, "Well, maybe I'm getting sick." Today I am thinking, "Fuck. I'm sick." Walking in to work was not fun. By the time I got here I was totally light-headed. I've been here for over an hour and I still feel wobbly. I think I may need to take a sick day tomorrow.

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A lesson I was taught in the army

"If you don't ask nobody can say no"

Somebody out there was having a problem surprisingly similar to what just happened to me with the Royal Bank. I fixed it by breaking some rules. I guess that makes me a bad ZelleFallhammer. Too bad.

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Details at 11

OK, I need to go to bed like a good ZelleFallhammer, but just to pique your curiosity:

Trish gave me a fish and touched my thing,

I touched Jen's boob,

and Nic kissed me.

So there.

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The game is afoot

So "the plan" is starting to gel in my head now. I took a long bath the wash the bank ick off my soul for the weekend and consulted with Tharsis. There is still a great deal of confusion to be sorted through and many obligations to be integrated in the escape plan still, but I'll figure it out.

"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts"

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