Michael R. Barrick's blog

(Just so long as Richard Dawson doesn't try to kiss me)

So my living space is cleaned up and I'm working my way into the office. That's going to be an ordeal. My desk is a disaster. But I feel good. I finished off the drawings of Daevina and Mel to take with me tonight.

I had some weird dreams last night. The details have already escaped me, but they've left me determined to get out of this funk. I can't do anything more about not having any money that I already am and there is nothing I can do about the other thing I have been whining about but wait and hope (there's that damn hope thing again!), so to hell with the whinging and fretting and time to do what I can with what I have.

Another day, another conversation, another set of mixed signals. Sigh

I don't know if I am wasting my time. One day at a time. While I'm in a Shakespeare mood anyway...

..."hope" was in Pandora's box along with all the evils of the world?

Hope is an evil. Every stupid thing I have ever done was out of hope. If I could for once be completely hopeless and just let things happen to me without fretting about the effects on some inevitably to be dashed hope it would be easier.

I had a specific reason for wanting to get a job in Vancouver and stay here. Had. Now that I bothered to take up arms against this sea of troubles have, with predictable and deadly accuracy, been shot down by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Nothing quite so much fun as scraping for work. But I had some good news today. Looks like I am the frontrunner for the HSBC job and I have a good crack at the Telus job. It could be a dilemma, because I think HSBC is going to come through before Telus, but Telus is the better job. I can't afford any "bird in the hand" mistakes, though. That's what got me into this mess in the first place. If I hadn't held out for the damn Cinram contract I wouldn't be in the this mess.

I will have a job next week.

The upside of not having any work right now is that I am starting to get some of those "one of those days when I have time" things done. I'm got my new website going (of which this journal is a part) and now I have finally gotten my web cam running again.

It's me! Your donations will be greatly appreciated.

Evilyn sent me this. If only I had a beemer to sleep in. But, oh well, the wonder wagon is roomier...

I can't help it. I've got to try and remember what Teresa told me: "Don't try to argue with an idiot - he'll take you down to his level and beat you with experience."

All the same...