The Innernet is Making Me Unsmrter

I swear the Internet is robbing me of intelligence. I've been doing a fairly good job of not running in the special olympics as I resolved, but just the very act of reading though and looking at the volume of mediocre crap to find the occasional gem is rotting my mind. It's the mental equivalent of black-lung. Tiny particles of idiocy are piling up in the corners of my mind, forming into dust-bunnies of stupidity. The dunce-bunnies are arming themselves with the armour from pencil-drawn Manga-style anthropomorphic horse and kitty warriors from deviantART. They are strengthening their resolve worshiping flash-photos-of-airborne-dust spirits and promises of life-everlasting on the sunset-lensflare secret planet that will destroy as all. They crawl onto people's shoulders with pitch-forks made of excess exlaimation points and whisper irrational propoganda on both sides of irrelevant issues, turning any and all throughts into arguments about American politics and foreign policy. The dunce-bunnies eat nothing but spam and breed with aid of viagra. Even though I've been avoiding running in the special olympics myself, every time I watch a race more of the dust settles in my mind and new armies of dunce-bunnies form to steal valuable resouces from what few creative and rational thoughts I have left.